Transition for couples with children after divorce is not easy. This is especially true if the children are still of school age; they will hold out thinking the parents will get back together. Wrapped in their world of whimsy and magic, they will think reconciliation is possible, and that the family will live a happy life together again.
The Impact of Divorce on Children
Children often show symptoms of distress post-divorce, which can be manifested in their withdrawal, aggression, and tendency to be needy and disobedient. This is true not only inside the household, but in public places, too, most especially in classroom or school settings.
Studies show that kids appear detached from school, routines, and even play after divorce. Divorce is never easy for anyone involved, with lawyers like the Law Offices of Ian S. Mednick saying that it’s hardest for the children as they try to grasp the situation and make sense of their feelings.
Support and Consistency Matters
The key to bringing back the child’s lost vigor and compassion is to display support and consistency. The child is bound to feel confused and tired, especially if the child is shuttled back and forth between a mothers and the fathers who believe in different things and who treat the child differently.
Differing values regarding discipline, eating habits, and after school activities will not only create confusion in the child, but may also cause major conflicts between the separated parents. Build consistency between the two homes to help the child adapt to the changes of the circumstance.
Cut the Child Some Slack
Find a point of agreement and apply a sense of continuity between the two homes so the child will not have a hard time dealing with two different sets of lifestyle and dynamics. Divorcing parents sometimes demand a lot from the child as they attempt to co-parent after divorce.
Help them out a little and allow them to transition gently about the way the two homes differ, but also the ways in which nobody loves them less. Let the separation be an opportunity to independently nurture children so they become the best version of themselves in the future.